


Shallow

by queen_scribbles



Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 22:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16921197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_scribbles/pseuds/queen_scribbles
Summary: For Prompt Fill #69. Another Roll for It where I picked my elements (Ondra, snow, reunion). This is an idea I’ve been sitting on for a really long time (almost a year), so it ran away with me a bit.





	Shallow

**Author's Note:**

> For Prompt Fill #69. Another Roll for It where I picked my elements (Ondra, snow, reunion). This is an idea I’ve been sitting on for a really long time (almost a year), so it ran away with me a bit.

 

_‘A single strike upon the crystal will not be enough. The Eyeless respond only as long as the hammer rings. You will need to remain until their work is complete, wielding the hammer until the walls come crumbling down.’_

Ondra’s words stuck in Emiri’s head, circling like a school of frightened fish. She knew what they meant.

_‘You will need to remain...’_

Her breath caught shallow in her throat, and if not for Pallegina, she would have been crushed by the Eyeless that lumbered around the corner. The sharp jerk sideways snapped Emiri out of her stupor and she scrambled to contribute to the  ensuing fight. But she still wasn’t all there, lingering on the goddess’ words. She knew somehow, despite Edér’s dark humored comment, crushing would not be how she’d go. Not her, Ondra’s least favorite child for reasons Emiri had never figured out.

_‘Your sacrifice will be mourned.’_

No, if Ondra had any say in it, Emiri would survive the crushing to drown when the moon fragment filled with water. Just the thought of it made her heart pound and blood run cold.

_‘Your fate is already sealed.’_

She must not have done a good job hiding her distress, because they hadn’t progressed too much further toward their goal when there was a hand on her arm.

“Are you alright?” Aloth asked, then huffed a small laugh though his nose.  “Considering.”

Emiri winced as she paused to answer, both at being so easily read, and at the purplish-blue bruise forming under his eye. “Considering, yes. I’ve always suspected Ondra hated me. Never expected to have proof.” She managed a ghost of a smile. “What can you do when the world needs saving?”

_‘You have seen what they will do. This is the way you can stop them.’_

“Emiri...” Aloth sighed. He knew she wasn’t telling him everything; she could see it on his face. Sometimes it was an annoyance to have a friend who knew her so damn well.

“It’s fine, Aloth. We should keep moving. I doubt the Eyeless will stand around idle to await their destruction.” Emiri rolled her shoulders, Abydon’s hammer seeming heavier than before, and pressed on. 

_‘This is the way you can stop them.’_

That would be worth it, right? Saving the world, protecting her friends, that was worth a death from her darkest nightmares. She could do this.

_‘Your sacrifice will be mourned.’_

Suddenly she was twelve again, shackled and trapped inside a cabin slowly filling with water. Icy fear worming in the base of her skull.

They all but walked into the next trio of Eyeless and Emiri threw herself at them with a scream of helpless frustration. She let her terror and dread fuel her abilities, trying to inflict just a fraction on the remorseless monsters who’d put her in this position. They proved largely resistant to cipher powers, her one moment of triumph coming when she made a mace-handed one attack a lance-armed compatriot zeroing in on Hiravias.

“Thanks, Watcher!” he laughed, flashing her a toothy grin as he flung out a small ball of fire that leapt between all three of the monstrosities.

Emiri nodded wordlessly, dodging a lance thrust, and slammed her hammer against the Eyeless’ leg.

The fight dragged on longer than expected--Abydon made the Eyeless well--and all of them needed a rest after this last fight. So they tucked themselves in a small alcove and took a few minutes to catch their breath.

Hiravias plunked himself down next to Emiri and gave her a dark smile as he held out his jerky to share. “It’s fun when the gods decide you’re special, isn’t it?”

“Oh, yes, I’m enjoying myself immensely,” Emiri sighed. The light of her halo rippled. “Everyone acts like it’s such an honor to draw the attention of the gods, but...”

“Sometimes you wish they’d shut up and leave you alone?” he supplied, biting off a mouthful of jerky.

“Exactly.” She leaned forward and braced her elbows against her knees. “It’s more a burden than anything.”

“They do have a funny way of showing their regard,” Hiravias agreed. He scratched idly at the scars covering half his face. “Galawain saw fit to make me far less handsome, and Ondra’s outright trying to kill _you._ ”

“That’s nothing new,” Emiri said with a grim almost-smile. “Ondra’s had it in for me since I was eight. Guess she regretted favoring me with her touch.”

“If she’s been after you since you were eight, you’re more resilient than I thought.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Thank you?”

“I already knew you were tough as shit, Watcher,” he clarified, wolfing down the rest of his jerky in two mouthful. “This just adds to it.”

She laughed quietly. “Well, in that case, a more definite thank you.” She sighed. No point in delaying the inevitable. “We should get moving again” --she turned to the rest of the group--”if everyone’s ready?”

There were nods and murmurs of assent from the others. Trying to ignore the nerves fluttering in her chest, Emiri pushed to her feet and led the way further into the fragmented moon.

They passed through another open chamber with a pool of cold, still water at the center, and Emiri couldn’t stop herself from peering into its depths. She half expected to see more of Ondra’s Hair, come to double down on shallow, emotionless promises her sacrifice would be mourned. But there was nothing aside from the flash of scales as lagufaeth darted in and out of view. She wasn’t sure if that was more disappointment or relief.

She wasn’t given long to dwell on it; there were several more groups of Eyeless to fight and she was determined not to split her focus anymore. These fights went much better, though it was still frustrating that they were all but immune to her cipher abilities. Emiri wound up largely just supporting and protecting her friends as they dealt with the creatures.

It was almost a relief--in a perverse, twisted sense--that the last obstacle between them and the crystal column was a kraken. Emiri was far from eager to reach the end of this road, but it was good to have a foe she could actually fight and contribute more than shielding her friends. The fight was still far from easy, but at at last the gigantic beast sank lifeless beneath the surface. They dispatched the pair of Eyeless that lumbered up with only slightly more difficulty, and then it was time. No more delays.

_‘Your fate is sealed.’_

Emiri looked at her friends, breath coming fast and shallow as it sank in this might be the last time she saw them. She would _try_ to get out once everything came crashing down--why start passively accepting death now?--but wasn’t optimistic about her chances.

_‘Your sacrifice will be mourned.’  
_

_Yes, but not by **you**._ Emiri had no illusions Ondra actually _cared_. It would be her friends, the kith who had followed her down here, battered, bruised, and in a couple cases bleeding. They would be doing the mourning. Not some distant uncaring god.

“Miri? You alright?” Edér nudged her arm. “You usually only go all quiet like that when you’re havin’ one of your Watcher moments.”

“Just... collecting my thoughts,” she said softly. Abydon’s hammer was heavy on her back, heavier in her hands as she walked closer and sized up the crystal column. “This... isn’t easy.”

_Water filling her mouth, the surface was too far no matter how hard she kicked. The nightmare was real this time, ready to swallow her whole._

“Let me.”

Emiri was so absorbed in fighting through through the fear that it took a couple heartbeats to realize someone had spoken. Someone had offered to _take her place._

It took a couple more to realize it had been Aloth, one hand already wrapped around the hammer’s haft so she couldn’t swing it.

“ _ **No**_.” Every fiber of her being, down to the depths of her soul, twisted in vehement rebellion at the thought of asking him-- _letting_ him--do this. She pulled the hammer toward her chest, trying to dislodge his grip. “Absolutely not! This is-”

The words stuck in her throat. _Terrifying. Necessary. Something **I** have to do._

Aloth didn’t let go. He met her gaze, eyes somber but glinting with determination at least the match of hers. “I know how much this... fate frightens you,” he said softly. “You _told_ me, under the abbey.”

Emiri snorted and tugged on the hammer again. “I also told you it wasn’t a death I would wish on my worst enemy or strangers who hadn’t done anything to me. Do you _really_ think it’s something I can condemn my _best friend_ to?”

“You’re not.” Something flickered in his eyes, but he squared his shoulders and maintained his dogged grip on the hammer. “Emiri, I... I have had many decisions made for me in my life, followed orders I neither understood not questioned. This is different. This is my choice.”

“But-” The words wouldn’t come, jamming against each other, caught on the lump in Emiri’s throat. She couldn’t let him do this, couldn’t risk _losing_ him. It should be _her_ , was supposed to be her.

“You are the only one who can stop Thaos, _Watcher_ ,” Aloth pointed out, emphasizing the word even as she flinched. “Even aside from my more personal reasons, the world still needs you.”

_But **I** need **you**._ She didn’t say it. Didn’t let go of the hammer either. “Aloth...”

“I’ll not be far behind you,” he said, but she could feel the waver in his soul. He only half-believed the words even as he spoke them. “I have warding spells that can help. And I do, in fact, know how to swim.”

Well, that was one he had on her. Emiri finally, reluctantly, loosened her grip. “If you’re sure...”

“I am.” Aloth wrapped both hands around the hammer haft. He got a good grip, took a step closer to the crystal.

“Oh, wait!” Emiri sniffled, darting to where the others silently waited. She tugged Kana over and dug through his pack until she found the diving helmet Mylla had told her about. It was too small for her, so she wasn’t going to bother, but maybe for an elf... “Never hurts to improve your odds, right?” she said, trying for light-hearted.

Aloth nodded and mustered a smile. “Thank you. You... you should start on your way out. I have a feeling it will not be easy.”

The knot in her chest tightened further and her breath came short and sharp. _I can’t-_ Strangling off the sob that was trying to escape, she pulled him into a hug, hammer and all, tight enough his knuckles dug into her ribs. “You better not be far behind,” she murmured fiercely before letting go.

If he _wasn’t_ , if Ondra took the best friend she’d had in her life, Emiri was fully prepared to storm the Beyond itself to make the Sea Queen _ **fix it.**_

But it _wouldn’t come to that,_ because he was _going_ to escape, she told herself firmly as she rejoined the others. She refused to let herself dwell on any other outcome. “Let’s go,” she said brusquely, heading back for the embankment they’d slid down to get in. “It’ll get much harder once he starts.”

Aloth gave them just enough time to scale the embankment before the first clear--almost beautiful--ring of hammer against crystal resounded through the cavern. It pierced through Emiri’s heart, and if it weren’t for Kana and Pallegina tugging her arms she would have frozen on the spot. A second clear tone resonated, and the ground trembled.

They ran.

No looking back, it would hurt too much, just forward, forward, _forward_. Up a tunnel as the walls cracked, past the pool where she’d glimpsed lagufaeth as rocks fell from the ceiling.

And slap-bang into the first of the Eyeless as the path crumbled at the edges. Emiri felt as the creatures’ focus shifted from answering the hammer’s summons to this more immediate annoyance. Before they could fully bring their attention to bear, she lashed out, one of the charms she hated to use flying from her lips. These were vessels, not kith, and her friends were in danger. To her surprise it actually _worked_ this time, and her vicious _Not us, **them**_ had a large knot of the Eyeless attacking their fellows.

“Come on,” she hissed, leading the way past the distracted monsters. That charm wouldn’t last long, and then they would resume their inexorable march toward the still-ringing crystal. As long as there wasn’t anything closer at hand to capture their attention.

They ran on, as the hammered crystal tone rose and swelled behind them. It was louder now, aided by the Eyeless who had reached the cavern. Emiri wondered if it was hurting Aloth’s ears with how close he was. They passed more Eyeless as they scrambled through the crumbling tunnels, but these were too entranced by the resonating crystal tone, almost deafening now, to be much of a threat.

_At least Ondra was right about that_ , Emiri thought dryly as she dodged an idle swipe from a lance-armed Eyeless. She almost tripped over Hiravias a few seconds later when he rolled into her path avoiding a mace-handed one. The tunnels were narrowing, which meant they were getting close to the entrance.

A particularly large chunk of the ceiling crashed down behind them, almost grazing Kana’s back and startling a curse out of Edér. Emiri cringed as she wondered how much worse it was at the heart of all this destruction.

Pallegina blurted something in Vailian and pointed ahead. “Look!”

There was light. Dim and flicking, but there. They were almost out. Almost safe. They rounded the final bend just as a fresh cascade of stone and debris tumbled into the opening as the moon fragment gave a violent lurch. The path wobbled and dropped from under them and another sound filtered up under the din of ringing crystal.

Rushing water.

Fear prickled up Emiri’s spine and she willed herself not to think about anything beyond clearing those rocks. No flashbacks, no thinking about Aloth. Just getting the rest of them out of here. Even as she opened her mouth to see if anyone could take care of it, Hiravias’ voice rose in a familiar spell. A pair of boulders flew from his outstretched hand and smashed through the rubble.

He fell behind, limping, as they resumed their retreat, and Emiri dropped back to grab his arm and pull him up. She heard him hiss out a pained curse and boosted him high enough to wrap his arms around her neck as she ran. Ionni Brathr was already trying its damnedest to claim one of her friends, it couldn’t have another.

They all tumbled free of the rotating moon fragment, feet skidding as they hit the ice. A thunderous crash echoed out behind them and the ice started to splinter with long, jagged cracks. Emiri balled her hands into fists as she scanned for a safe path across.

_Must be chest high or deeper by now..._ She viciously pushed away the thought as Kana’s rich baritone rose in competition with nature itself, lending speed to their feet through song.

It wasn’t until the sting of wind hit her face that Emiri realized she was crying. She swiped at the frozen tears as she ran, bringing up the rear thanks to the added weight of an orlan clinging to her back. There was a loud groan behind her as the moon turned and sank yet further.

_Don’t look back._ She was almost to the shore. The others had made, Edér and Pallegina each holding out a hand as they hollered encouragement.

A crack rent the air just behind her and ice shards stung the back of her legs. _Usher spare us all._

Her last first steps punched partway through the weakened ice, sending her and Hiravias tumbling into the snow. Emiri muddled her way up to her knees and stared back the way they’d come. Only the moon’s tip was visible above the surface now. She watched it sink through blurry eyes, barely registering when Edér and Kana each rested a hand on her shoulders. Pushed to her feet as the ripples faded, wading into the shallows as the icy water lapped over the tops of her boots. As if there was anything she could do. A shiver raced through her and Emiri hugged her arms in close, nails digging into her coat until she could feel them through the leather and fur as she poured all her focus into a single word.   _ **Please.**_

One heartbeat.

Two.

Three.

At five the tears started running again and her chest heaved, teetering on the verge of a sob. _No, Usher, **please**. Please don’t...._

There was a sharp crack, loud in the silence,even though it paled next to the cacophony of a few moments ago. Emiri swiveled toward the sound just in time to see an arm punch through the ice.

_**Please.** _

She was already moving in that direction, frozen fingers tugging open the clasps on her coat, when Aloth’s head came into view and he started pulling himself out of the icy water. Emiri dropped to her knees and skidded across the last couple feet of the ice floe to help him. She hauled him up running on pure adrenaline and bundled him in her heavy, fur-lined coat as he finally released his death grip on his grimoire.

He was _alive_. Soaked to the bone, shaking from the cold, and sporting several additional bruises and cuts, but _alive_.

_Thank you,_ Emiri thought fervently in the direction of whichever god or force of nature had answered her as she wrapped Aloth in a hug. “What happened to warding spells?” she asked with a shaky laugh, joy and relief bubbling in her chest. “You’re almost the same color as me.”

Aloth smirked at the weak joke. “They only lasted about two thirds of the way up. And it’s nigh impossible to cast underwater.” He shivered. “If we could perhaps move off the ice...?”

“Oh, of course!” Emiri carefully pushed to her feet and helped him up. His hair was starting to _freeze_ , she realized, and belatedly tugged the hood of her coat up over his head. “I still can’t believe...”

“Neither can I,” Aloth admitted as he bent to pick up his grimoire. “Especially after the first surge of water carried away the helmet.”

“I don’t care,” Emiri said frankly through a hiccuping sob-laugh, hugging him again. “ _Gods_ , I don’t care, Aloth, I...”

He wrapped his free arm around her in return. “I know.”

By this point, Edér and Kana had traversed the much safer shore to reach them and begun cautiously making their way out onto the ice. Edér grinned cheerfully and quipped, “Hey, look who’s back from the dead.”

Aloth rolled his eyes as he stepped back from Emiri. “I wasn’t-”

“You were as good as,” Edér cut him off, grin spreading wider when the only response that got was another eyeroll. “C’mon, Pallegina’s tryin’ to start a fire for while she sees what’s up with Hiravias’ leg.”

That sounded wonderful to Emiri, and she wasn’t the one who was soaked head to toe standing on a crack-riddled chunk of ice. All four started to head toward their friends, but Emiri was distracted as the water in the hole rippled violently. She froze, thanks to curiosity more than the weather, and noted in her peripheral Kana had as well. 

He edged closer to her as a lagufaeth popped out of the water, its red and gold scales shimmering in the morning sun. It eyed her with far more intelligence than wilder creatures usually displayed. A _familiar_ intelligence, she realized.

Emiri squinted at the lagufaeth. _Exandru...?_

It squawked and dropped Abydon’s hammer--she hadn’t even noticed that was gone, too--on the ice _‘Our debt for our freedom is repaid by your friend’s life, Watcher.’_ shimmered through her mind.

She nodded and the lagufaeth gave a disgruntled hiss before diving back in the still-trembling water. _Still-trembling?_ She frowned. The lake should be settling by now. She was too drained to deal with anything else weird, they needed to get back to Stalwart--

The fragment of Ionni Brathr rose back out of the lake, the large swaths of broken ice knit back together, and the Eyeless spiraled out to demand explanations for the attempt at their destruction.

Emiri was only too happy to point the finger at Ondra, both for painting the destruction as necessary and corrupting their purpose in the first place. Only too happy to agree some things--like the Engwithan culture--were worth preserving (Kana’s gushing may have tempered her feelings on that subject). Only too happy to encourage they reform Abydon, memory intact, and preserve history once more. Only too happy to part peacefully, no need for conflict, hopefully now in the good graces of at least one god.

She and Kana stood for a long moment in silence after the Eyeless retreated. Then he wrapped an arm comfortingly around her shoulders and guided her back to join their friends.

They took a much-needed but abbreviated rest as Pallegina checked Hiravias’ leg--his knee was badly bruised from falling rock,would hurt to walk on for a while, but no permanent damage--before striking out for Stalwart. Under other circumstances, maybe they would have camped near the lake and dealt with the cold, but Emiri would be damned if she let Aloth freeze to death after he narrowly escaped drowning. She and Kana and Edér traded off carrying Hiravias piggyback. Hiravias grumbled abundant displeasure with this arrangement--especially on Edér’s turns--but even he acknowledged it was the best option.

It took until early evening to reach Stalwart, and it wasn’t until they were safely ensconced in one of the finest rooms the Gréf’s Rest had to offer that Emiri’s heart slowed and she allowed herself a deep breath. They were all alive. Despite the long odds and Ondra’s somber pronouncements, no one had died, a fact that left her shaky with relief.

“I never said thank you,” she commented quietly to Aloth as the two of them sat near-but-not-too-near the fire, nudging his foot with hers.

He smiled, shifted the mug of tea he was nursing. “It was implied.”

“No.” Emiri shook her head, staring at a long scrape that disappeared up his sleeve. “You were willing to _die for me_ , simply because you know that death scares me more than any other. Implied thanks is not good enough.” She held his gaze. “Thank you, Aloth.”

He looked ready to protest, but instead took a long drink of his tea before simply saying, “You’re welcome.” A beat. “It was the least I could do.”

She snorted and shot him a skeptical look. “Pretty sure that rates a little higher than _the least,_ no matter how much you think I’ve done for you.”

Aloth smiled at her again over the rim of his mug. “Agree to disagree.”

She was too tired and too grateful to have this debate with him(again), so Emiri simply shrugged and curled her hands tighter around her own mug of tea.  “Warm yet?”

Aloth looked down at his hands, seemed gratified there wasn’t any more blue tingeing his fingernails, and nodded. “Getting there.”

“Good.”

They lapsed into silence after that, both too tired to do more than simply enjoy each others’ company. Because they were _alive_ and they _could_.

It was a very good feeling.


End file.
